Spa babies
You know how sometimes living in the city bowl, living in Gardens, well it can just get to be too much. Just too much. Too much ease, too much convenience, too many friendly store owners ‘knowing your name’, too much ‘hey long time’ at the Kloof Street Vida, too much pretending not to see acquaintances while running into the salon for your Hollywood first thing in a Saturday so you can hit the (private) beach by lunchtime. Just Too Bloody Much. Such it was when Frances Sauvage and CTG realised that they were simply OVER the city bowl, OVER the Gardens Centre, OVER the moms in the park in Tambles (Tamboerskloof for you non-CT readers) and very very much OVER the relentlessly breathtaking views of the mountain and we decided we simply HAD to get away. We had to get away from the Bowl Terror, which is what we call that feeling where you are sure you are going to start eating your own head at any given minute. And what better a retreat to make a sanctuary from the Bowl Terror than One&Only Cape Town, since they are running a special for Women’s Month.
View from the Marina Suite
Lindt Hot Chocolate while checking in
CTG stayed in a Marina Grand Suite, which was so ridiculously spacious that Frances and CTG could practise their ‘Can’t Touch This’ Routine (that’s another story) without any kind of fear of breaking lampshades or dignity or nails. CTG’s suite had 3 bathrooms, an enormous bath, 2 showers and a giant cloud of a bed I had to run at from a distance to make it onto. Fosbury Flop style. Made sure to use a different toilet each time it was needed, just because I could. Frances stayed in an adjacent Queen Room which had a door that led onto CTG’s Suite. An interleading door. Like a spy movie. Honestly.
Cloud bed in the Marina Grand Suite
First thing we did upon arrival is hit the Island Spa. Because when one wants to escape the Bowl Terror, one MUST have a massage. Our masseuses, Alexandra and Pieter, ironed the knots out of us to the point that both Frances and CTG lay virtually comatose in the Relaxing Room with straws channeling pure pomegranate juice into our freshly pressed muscles. What’s a relaxing room, you ask? It’s a room filled with soft beds, soft blankets, soft lights, soft music, nuts and fruit juice, where you recover from your massage. Believe it, because it’s true. We lay there for a looooong time. Just lay there. Feeling safe. And soft. And calm. And after we lay in the Relaxing Room, we padded in our plush slippers and our gowns over to the vitality pools, where we proceeded to spend the entire afternoon in and out of the fragrantly scented waters, floating on the air bubble beds, sweating in the sauna, glowing in the steam room, drenching ourselves in the delicious Espa range… listen, there is NO better way to spend an afternoon. If you can find a better way to spend an afternoon, tell me, and I will print out my words and eat them in front of you.
Post-massage glow with Island Spa in the background
After massage and vitality REBIRTH (we were now different people. We are still), Frances and I arrived at Vista Bar for High Tea, which is an unbelievable spread of some of the most delicious nom noms you have seen in your LIFE. Because massages make you hungry, as does floating around ‘being reborn’, CTG’s eyes popped out of her head as she battled to choose only a few items in order to save herself for dinner. She settled on a Salmon open sandwich, and some macarons. Of course.
Macaron and meringue heaven
Nom nom nom!
After rebirth, and High Tea, it was time for a High Chill on our balcony, overlooking the Marina. Shame. It was tough. We ordered some red wine and we gazed at the lights on the water, marvelling at how we didn’t feel like we were anywhere near Cape Town since the cloud was covering the mountain. The Bowl Terror felt far away. Everything was perfect. We started referring to the present as ‘best day’. Then in-store dining arrived to set up dinner in our suite. Have you ever done that? Had dinner served to you in your hotel suite? We thought it would be an interesting change from the usual pomp & ceremony of dinner. All those other people. Loves, the lights were dimmed and the suite was covered in candles and rose petals and a gorgeous table setting, and Frances and CTG were served oysters and Graham Beck champagne while we waited on the balcony for them to prepare our feast. And THAT, loves, is luxury.
My Bubbles. Like the Nemo fish.
Divine
Frances shows that mollusc
Mmm bubbles - the Graham Beck Brut
We then proceeded to be waited on hand and newly manicured (Essie) foot. We were served new wines with each dish, and once we were finished each dish we gave in-room dining a call and they came and cleared and laid out the next dish. Thank you to sommelier Andre for pairing the wines perfectly! It was incredible. It changed the dining experience into something that is usually quite a self-conscious experience into something intimate and fun and the height of luxury – being able to take breaks between meals and relax with the view of the Marina before us. The food was amazing. First dish was a seared Salmon, beetroot, fennel, turnip, grape and pomegranate salad. Mains was lamb fillet served with polenta cake, aubergine paste and tomato juice (out of this world) and dinner was Blood Orange pannacotta, Campari Jelly, 70% Ecuador ‘rain’ and a chocolate-orange giant macaroon. Unreal!
Salmon, beetroot, turnip, fennel, grape and pomegranate salad with mustard dressing, which we enjoyed with the Spice Route Voignier.
The lamb fillet which we enjoyed with the 2005 Sequillo Red.
Dessert, which we enjoyed with an Orange-infused armagnac called La Grande Josiane
Needless to say, after all this CTG and Frances retired to the corner couch to loll around like pythons before we had energy to make ourselves some tea and carry on with our duty – to relax on the balcony and enjoy ourselves. And the sea air. And the view. And the plushness of our gowns. Did CTG mention in-room dining means you can swan around in your gown like Hugh Hefner while you eat? Okay at this point there was nothing left to do but for each to draw an enormous bath, where we used ALL our Charlotte Rhys bubble baths and continued to sip champagne while contemplating the remainder of the evening.
Frances owning her tub while CTG tops up her bubbly.
The bath primed us for further gown time, so we shrugged them on and shuffled onto the balcony for tea and cigars, minus the cigars (they cause wrinkles and smell siff luvvies).
Heffing out
Frances gets her Hef on too
At this point CTG and Frances were supposed to get dressed to go out to a friend’s birthday. But so stuffed with happiness were we that we turned away the stylist and makeup and we opted to remain on the balcony for a while longer, before we retired back to the corner couch in CTG’s Suite and watched Quarantine - a totally awesome take on the zombie movie. And then we lurched to our cloud beds, where passed out and slept the sleep of those who have escaped the Bowl Terror. Both of us awoke to the sounds of birds and the smell of the sea to an extreme breakfast spread. We went for salmon, cream cheese, scrambled eggs, seed toast, fruit, home-baked muesli, Bulgarian yoghurt and cappuccinos – god it was incredible. Frances face says it all:
Nommed out
Breakfast view
But now it is Monday, and Best Day is over. Miss u Best Day. There is so much about One&Only Cape Town that really just blows your mind and takes it from a luxury hotel stay to an experience that is just on a whole other level. Things like Pillow Menus, and Scent Menus - where you order which pillows you would like and how you would like your room to smell. Things like the quality of the food, and the attentiveness of the staff, who literally bend over backwards to satisfy each and every need CTG and Frances had. The fluffiness of the towels. The Suedeness of the gowns. The knowledge of the Sommeliers. The Lemon in the iced water at the spa even tastes special.Do yourself a favour – One&Only are running a Women’s Month Special for the month of August. You can basically have this entire experience for a RIDICULOUSLY discounted price. Click here to find out what it entails, or give One&Only a call on 021 431 5800. You won’t regret it – you’ll only regret not doing it sooner. See you at the Island Spa!
xxCTG
