Food Interrupted Chapter 5: World Cup Curry
24 Jun 2010, Posted by Cape Town Girl in CTG, characters, food interrupted, south africa, 2 Comments
Darlings,
Mummy’s back and she’s more evil she’s more bankrupt she’s drunker she’s never been better.
Having spent a little time away from you my darlings doing narcotic-related time in a Thai prison my quad-annual soul searching retreat, I’ve returned to find my country overrun by foreign vermin filled with delightful ‘friends-I-haven’t-met-yet.’ To my greatest surprise it isn’t because the Cape is one of the greatest wine-producing regions in the world, but rather, because of the Badminton World Cup.
What the fuck? I whispered, deep in thought. But from my recent experiences with hardened non English speaking criminals my inner child, I have realized that asking questions of others’ behaviour can often leave you missing a tooth awed by the individuality of our world.
‘Frances darling, sweetie, sweetie darling,’ Tanner crowed over the blower, “lets embrace this change darling. Let us hold out our arms to the foreigners, let us clutch them to our bosom, let us make them feel the beat of Africa’s all-giving heart.” Or something like that, Tanner and I had already delicately sipped at eighteen two glasses of something rather nice called Café-ccinno or Pino-latte or Espresso-vino-Cab-Sav or bloody Red-Wine-that-tastes-like-bloody-coffee darling.
So puppies, instead of ripping flags off cars, giving wrong directions and running into a packed guest-house covered in scratches, torn clothes and with a wild-look in my eyes whispering ‘lion’ ignoring all this Badminton madness and returning to an opium den my forest retreat, Tanner and I decided to open our arms to the foreign people by avoiding them completely celebrating their arrival with a TRULY South African dish my cherubs, the Boerewors Curry. It’s simply perfect for these cold winter nights watching the Badminton at home darlings, if you’re not going to watch the actual game at the big court they’ve set up in Durbanville.
Bugger Off Bloody Marvellous Boerie Curry
Oh ffs, what do I need?
2 large onions
A large pack of Grabouw boerwors (darlings, Grabouw is a small island off the coast of Chile – hence why their boerewors is so good for curry.)
1 can whole tomato
1 can chickpeas
Pinch of Cumin
Pinch of Paprika
Two teaspoons of curry powder (for proper curries you can use real spices darling. The boerewors curry is the Aromat of the curry world. Delicious, addictive but of humble makings…and luminous yellow)
Fish oil
Green pepper
Yellow pepper
Garlic
Fond (we’ve been through this darlings!)
Hot sauce
Red wine (ooooh!)
1/cup of sour cream (this is optional darlings, like getting the shoes in brown, or brown AND black)
2 cups brown wild rice
Coriander for topping
And now?
Wash and chop the peppers and onion.
Chop boerie into little rounds – like you would with a Vienna if this was the late eighties and you were throwing a 5th Avenue Cold Duck Party with snacks on toothpicks sticking out of oranges.
Dump together into a pot with a drizzle of olive oil and let sizzle (without burning darlings, so don’t open the wine just yet)
On the side, make about a cup of stock from the Fond with boiling water. Stir well.
Chuck into pan with the can of tomatoes (open the can first darlings) followed by the chickpeas.
Mix the two teaspoons of curry powder with a little water and chuck that in to the pan as well.
Now turn the heat down slightly so that the soupy-mix is just simmering.
Add a liberal sprinkling of fish oil (trust mummy darlings) the cumin, the paprika and the garlic.
Slap a lid on it and go and do something more deserving of your time, like drink.
Come back 10 minutes later and check it’s not set your house on fire. Here you can slosh in a bit of red wine and add a little sour cream if you want a slightly less aromatic flavor and want to thicken it.
Otherwise splash in a whole bunch of drops (don’t you love exact instruction?) of hot sauce and much pepper. Lid back on and out with you to drink.
After steaming the wild brown rice (oh come on, darlings, really? Cover the rice with water, bring to the boil. Drain excess water, put lid on pot and allow to steam until fluffy) serve with the boerie mix and lots of coriander.
Alternatively darlings, consume twenty bottle of Macchiato-Shiraz and go out on the town. The foreigner men types may have more to offer than we anticipate…
Frances
