Hey Brit Brit, it’s CTG here.

18 Feb 2011, Posted by Cape Town Girl in BFFs, CTG, Celebrity, dance, music, music video, 4 Comments

Just calling to say I watched ur new vid. I see it’s ’set in a set in space’.
Loves it, but you already made this video???
It was back in the 1900s, and the song was called ‘Oops I Am Wearing a Tight Catsuit And White Eyeshadow. Again.’
I loved that song. It kinda ‘defined my attitude towards relationships’.
It taught me that ‘even though a man will dive to the bottom of the ocean to get the diamond from the titanic, you shouldn’t be too appreciative of it’, and should rather ‘make square shapes around your head while wearing platform boots’ if you need to ‘channel your excitement into something productive that does not involve eating Bigmacs and throwing up’.

Loved that vid.
I too wanted to ‘break the hearts of spacemen’ via ‘wrapping my junk in red clingwrap’.
But you just try finding red clingwrap in a coastal town in South Africa in the 90s.
I see you have ‘upped your game’ by trading in your clingwrap catsuit for a ‘bullet-frosted nappy’.
I like what you did there.
It’s like you are owning the fact that still being a popstar at the age of 29 makes you ‘want to sh*t yourself’,
while the bullets make sure people know you ‘can be tough if you want to be’, and that ‘once a Southern Girl, always a Southern Girl’.
The nappy also alludes to ‘baby’ of dirty dancing fame.
This is why I love you – you are an artist of many layers.
I imagine the bullets also cut down the ‘chance of of kidnapping’, which is probs quite high, since in the ‘eyeshadow of the law’ you are ’still a child’ (via shaving ur head and shouting Merry Christmas in April).
Hey, nothing wrong with ‘being under a conservatorship even though you have been working for 15 years’.
Some of us find the real world ‘a bit much’.
Willing 2 bet ‘appliqueing your nappy with bullets’ was your dad’s idea (he has ur best interests at heart, promise).
I hope he gets producer credits for that.

Can we just chat about the ‘huge white elephant-inspired wedding dress in the room by Vera Wang’ that you wear from 00:59?
I kinda feel like you already did the wedding thing.
It was really original when you were having your breakdown to ‘go out partying in your wedding dress and sleep with unknown strangers’ just after your divorce.
That was defs a fresh take on things. Not sure this time.
You remind me of the Barbie on my toilet that keeps my toilet paper warm.
I love my toilet barbie, don’t get me wrong.
Just not sure I’d take inspiration from her in my art. But I guess a true artist knows ‘there’s inspiration everywhere’.

Let’s just get serious for a second now too.
I see you have moved on from ‘popping the occasional Ambien‘ to ‘permanent finger drips pumping demerol into your blood stream’.
Now I don’t want to tell you how to ‘live your life’, but even MJ didn’t ‘dance so good on the Demerol’.
But I do understand ‘wanting to feel close to MJ’. I miss him too. We all do.

I stopped watching the new vid when you started ’spraying graffiti all over your Baby One More Time video’.
It just hurt too much, like your were ’spraying graffiti over all my heart’.
Kinda hate to admit it but I did enjoy watching your ‘kick the shit out of yourself’. It was hot.
Guess the paps will ‘think twice about getting into a whirlwind romance’ with you in future, in case you injure them. Just not really sure why Jonas Akerlund decided to ‘include the toe shot’. Maybe his artistic vision was to ‘make you appear vulnerable and human’ but I just kinda feel like feet have no place in ur videos.